Tuesday, April 11, 2006

~o0o~ I enjoy being a girl! ~o0o~

I make no bones about the fact that I love being a woman.

I like to dress up.
I like my curvy body.
The color pink + me = happiness
I like lipstick.
I like jewelry.

I also love sports, hockey especially - but that doen't deter from my womanlyness - it makes me well rounded.

But something I hate and I know most of you ladies will agree - is shaving the legs. I love smooth legs and "society be damned" is often my motto, however you aren't going to find Grisley Adams gams on this girl.

My skin has not been the same since the 49 lovely doses of radiation that I had to experience. Oddly enough, the cancer was in/on my head but radiation made the skin on my legs ROUGH. I moisturize and exfoliate. I have tried shaving with the grain (as Queer Eye guy Kyan would insist upon). I hate to even shave with the best of razors because I always look like I have wicked razor burn. I have even resorted to using lotion that has small doses of hair remover to thin my leg hair so that shaving isn't such an ordeal - but alas, no luck yet.

Note:I can't afford regular professional waxing so that isn't an option.

So here I sit with Nair on my legs and like the mouth wash commerical says: "the burn says it's working!" Well mother feck, my legs are burning (like they always do with this Nair crap). I swear if my legs aren't sliky smooth when this stuff is washed off, I'll cry.

Do you have any smooth leg secrets? I'd love to know!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Morning To Do List or Thank God for Coffee

Laundry (3 loads)
Fold Laundry and Put away

Unload Dishwasher
Reload Dishwasher

Clean Puppy area of Laundry Room
Give Puppy a bath

Make Elle breakfast
Change Elle
Eat something healthy for breakfast


Get Elle to rest before school (still no naps for her!)
Shower
Paint toe nails

Write letter to "whom it may concern" as to why it is unfair that I am 29 and still get zits

.... and that is just this morning.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Forrester Report: Ins and Outs

I don't know if any of you read Entertainment Weekly, but there is a small feature each week called the Shaw Report, by Jessica Shaw. The Shaw Report, a staple aspect of EW, rates the "In-Factor" of various life aspects. I often think the feature is full of hot air - but I enjoy it nonetheless. So, with that in mind, here is the Forrester Report - with notes!

In: Hummus and Pita
Out: Peanut Butter and Jelly
*ed note: My love affair for hummus and pita has projected itself on to my daughter. She is brilliant, this child, no?

In: Health
Out: Sick
*ed note: Can I just tell you how totally over sickness is? I am TIRED of it. I refuse to acknowledge it. Goodbye sickness - I'm over you and your yuck.

In: The Wonder Pets
Out: BoohBah
*ed note: Thank GOD that the Wonder Pets now trump Boohbah. The colorful dancing penis-like creatures that are Boohbah were begning to make me question Public Television, and I love me some PBS. Yay for NickJr. and their cool AND educational programming!

In: Not napping
Out: Napping
*ed note: This sucks. Napping is not out by MY choice. Napping is not out because it is not cool. Napping is cool. Why can't a certain child realize this?

In: Toast
Out: Oatmeal
*ed note: Sometimes there is nothing better than a good piece of wheat toast with butter and jam to get you going in the morning. Add coffee and OJ and it could very well be the perfect breakfast.

In: Blogging
Out: Not Blogging
*ed note: You'd think with my lack of updating that it would be the other way around. But really, I am constantly thinking about blogging. It's just getting me to sit in front of the computer that is the problem. I need someone to invent sublimenal blogging.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

525,600 boogers - Seasons of Phlem

Life is finally settling down a bit. After all of the drama of the last few weeks, I am ready for the settling. So what's been going down? Here's the re-cap:

My Gram is doing alright, resting at home and having good days and bad days - keep her in your prayers, please.

Elle and I got mega sick. It was a snotty phlem fest. Everyone got antibiotics and other helpful medicine. We're on the mend now. THANK GOD! I don't think I could have handled another bad day. We are also considering buying stock in the Proctor and Gamble, the parent company of Kleenex.
Side Note - How brilliant are Kleenex for putting lotion in their product so our noses do not fall off from the constant blowing? Very brilliant, I'd say.

Elle is so versed in the nose-blowing technique that she is now instructing random people when to blow their noses. A woman standing next to us in Eckerd sneezed and Elle said: "Hey, godda glo noose! Now!"

The puppies are GROWING. I have new names for them too. There is Hoss, the big fatty and Bitty, the littlest one and then there is Tater Tott who is nearly as big as Hoss. Tater Tott received his name from Promise, his 4 year old owner who is SO FREAKING EXCITED THAT SHE IS GETTING A PUPPY.

We are also an American Idol house. We never miss an episode. Do you watch? Who are you rooting for? We are big fans of Taylor and Chris. We like Paris as well. Ace's brooding is killing us and I pointed out long before the show did - that Kevin Covais bears striking resemblance to Chicken Little. Oh, and I am SO OVER Randy Jackson speaking in third person and saying [insert name here] "can blow!" What is the matter with calling singing, singing? I'm just saying . . .

So that's about it. I have a stack of DVD's that need watching and there is a big ol' cup of Lemon Zinger with my name on it. But wait!

Before I go, a quick Elle story that will make you laugh. So she's watching Sesame Street today and the theme is trees. Somewhere in the episode Ernie says rhetorically: "Let's hear it for the trees!" and Elle says: "Yay! Trees! Go Trees!"

How funny is that?

peee esss: I haven't read your blog in a week. I'm sorry. I promise to read AND comment soon!
pee pee esss: Does anyone else find it funny that blogger's spell check does not acknowledge the word blog? I find that quite humorous.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

this little light of mine

After all that has gone on during the last several days, I have found my solace in Elle. She is such an amazing little light. The hugs and kisses have been plentiful and her smile, oh that smile melts me. I could go on and on but you know how mothers tend to gush, so I will just share a couple of pics that make me smile.



She is deep in contemplation. Thinking about what?



This is her hair after taking out her pig tail. She loved the way it was sticking up. She kept looking in the mirror and giggling.



I asked her to smile, and this is what I got. The kid is a total ham.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Recovering - The Gram update


I am going to cut and paste here, what I have written on my Gram's care-page website for our family. Here is the run down. By the way, don't worry, it is ALL good news!


February 20, 2006 at 07:04 PM EST
GOOD NEWS! Gram got out of surgery at 1:15 (EST) and she is doing great. The nurse taking care of her in ICU said that she is 100% where she needs to be. I feel like we've won the lottery! They are beginning to "bring her around" meaning that they are slowly bringing her to consciousness. They allowed Papa to touch her hand and when he did, she opened her eyes! She also opened her eyes when Mom said "I love you, Mom." A nurse promptly scolded Mom, telling her that there was NO TALKING ALLOWED! This is because Gram is on the ventalator and they don't want her to try to talk. Speaking of the ventalator, they will try to take Gram off the vent sometime late tonight. I will let you know in the morning how that went. I also wanted to let you know that the surgeon said that post-op complication rate was only 2% (yes, that is a two) and Gram was a prime canidate for this surgery. It will be a few days before Gram is in a regular room where she can have regular visitors, flowers, cards etc... I am giving Papa your messages and will print and mail them to Gram when she is up to reading them. Please continue to be praying for Gram. She made it over the big hurdle but her recovery is going to be slow and sore and she needs all the support she can get. I will post again when I have more news to share.


February 21, 2006 at 10:29 AM EST
More good news! Gram is off the ventalator! She is smiling (smiling is GREAT!) and talking just a little bit. Mom stayed the night and said she did well overnight. Mom went home to get a few hours of sleep and Pop and Uncle Tom are there with her now. Mom should be back there soon - she calls me with the updates. Uncle Tom said that the nurse told him that Gram is 100% where she needs to be in her recovery post-surgury process. Gram is a good patient, and she is being very strong. She also has excellent care. Papa wanted me to tell you that. He said "please tell everyone that she is getting excellent care." He also said that Gram's nurse is a tough as nails lady but Papa said, I quote, "top notch, excellent, one of the best nurses I have ever seen." So that is pretty great. And the fact that he is pleased with her care makes us all feel better too. Gram will be in the special post surgery "locked down" ICU for atleast one more night. After which she will be moved to a "room" where she can have visitors other than immediate family.


February 21, 2006 at 05:16 PM EST
Another Good news update. Gram sat for two hours in a chair this afternoon. While sitting, Pop fed her a bananna popsicle, an orange popsicle and some broth. Gram wasn't really excited about sitting up for two hours, but she is in great spirits. She is resting again and her nurse once again reported that Gram is doing excellent. We couldn't ask for more, could we?


So that is where we are now. I'm so thankful that she made it through the surgery as well as she did, but then again, I didn't expect anything less ;) Tenativly, I will be going to Michigan next week to help Gram with her recovery and her first week home. I will let you know more as plans develop.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Gram

I have been quiet for awhile because it has been a stressfull couple of days. My grandmother went in on Saturday morning for cardiac-cath and the news wasn't good. As I write this, she is having open heart bypass surgery. My gram is a wonderful woman. We are very close - we talk on the phone everyday sometimes 5 times a day. We have a very special relationship, one I treasure. Some of my favorite things about her are:


- She knows and understands the importance of the right shade of Lipstick
-She is the best cook, ever.
- She respects my dislike for sweet pickels and won't put them in my potato salad or tuna.
- She is one of the smartest people I know - She has the answers to questions that many
PhD's cannot answer.
- She can dish with me on the soap operas with out shame. I don't know who else I would talk to about the Young and the Restless.
- She is beautiful with out being difficult.
- She always smells good. Like powder, soap and dentine.
- She has a big vocabulary (but she keeps it a secret and whips out big words when we are least expecting it).
- She can always make me feel better. Even if I am feeling great, she'll make me feel better than great.
- She might be small, but she is mighty. She is one of the strongest people I know.


Could you please remember my gram in your thoughts and prayers, meditations and wishes today? It would mean a lot.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentines Day



Three puppies! Two girls and a boy. I know it is so uber cliche, but really, how cute is it that Pippy had her puppies on Valentines Day?!


I almost can't stand the cuteness - but knowing that they will start pooping soon makes the cuteness barable.

Is there a doctor in the house?

It's 2:45 and I am wide awake. "Why am I awake," you ask?


THE PUPPIES ARE BEING BORN!


I woke up at about 2:30 with a strong sense of urgency to check on Pippy and when I came out, she was birthing her first pup.


Welcome to the world Olympia! (That is what I am calling it (don't know yet if it is a boy or girl) until it goes to it's own home in 6 weeks.


We're having puppies! On Valentines Day!

Friday, February 10, 2006

::what's in a name?::

Will somebody tell me why they (the man, the powers that be, NBC, EVERYONE) are calling the Winter Olympics the Torino Olympics when it is in Turin? What in the heck is wrong with the name Turin?


We didn't call the Atlanta olympics the Georgia Olympics and the Salt Lake games were not refered to as the Mormon Olympiad,etc . . .


So what gives? Have you seen any reports giving credit to this jackassery?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

::becuase i'm so gracefull like that::

I am going to have a bruise on my cheek. I already have a hugeish throbbing goose egg (that sounds really sick), so I fully expect to see a bruise there when I wake up tomorrow morning. That is if I wake up, because lately my clumsyness is at an all time high and I'm pretty sure I am capable of some sort of night-time mishap.


Oh yeah, I'm babbling and I never even told you why I have a throbbing goose egg (gross) on my cheek.


I bent over to pick up one of Elle's 13 zillion toys and misjudged where my head would land and I smacked into the corner of the sewing machine (which is and antique, literally 100 years old, does not sew and doubles as a junk table). I hit it hard, hard enough to make the f-word fly out of my mouth without a second thought. And believe me friends, when you have a 2 and half year old tape recorder following you around - you think twice before bustin' out the big eff.


I wonder what the eff it'll look like in the morning... It kind of reminds me of when I was going through my radiation treatment and I would always wonder what new kind of wierdness my face was going to look like after a treatment. I'm still saddled with this carnage:





It's not quite as red anymore, but it's as smooth as a baby's arse and it repels water. You'd think that would gain me superhero qualifications, but alas - it doesn't. Too bad the throbbing goose egg (still sickin me out) wasn't on that side, then I could just turn to the right whenever someone spoke to me. Heh, but no, now turn to the left: cancer face - turn to the right: clumsy knocked on a sewing maching face...


I'm glad I don't go out for the weekend anymore.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My dog is having puppies and I am having a COW.

My dog is pregnant. I can't even tell you the ammount of distress this is causing me. I feel so old fashioned right now. I just want to send her to some dog convent - let her have the puppies and come back to live with us like it never happened. It's not shame. It is total inconvenience. I HAVE NO TIME.


I can't be birthin' no puppies.


She is due within the next week and a half. THIS IS HORRIBLE. I have no place to put puppies. I have to keep them for SIX WEEKS. Puppies crap - a lot. I have nowhere to put small crapping puppies.


pausing to breathe into paper bag



Have any of you done this before? I have googled a bunch of stuff but I am in no way ready to be a canine mid-wife. Jeezie Creezie. I want to scream, cry and shoot the rapist dog from across the street.


Excuse me, I'm going to go scream some more.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

another reason why rural tennessee is backasswards

Grrr..... I DO NOT LIKE DSL.


Our telephone company is a TOTAL RACKET. I have no idea how they get away with what they're doing. How is it that BellSouth is not allowed to offer service to this area? I live 30 minutes away from my old home that had digital cable and bellsouth and ammenitites!


I'm not a snob. I'm not a princess. I don't ask for much! I would just like an internet connection that costs me 60 junior bacon cheese burgers to work when the wind blows harder than 5 miles an hour! I don't mind paying for good service. We upped our DSL to the highest speed offered and we've gone from snail/slug speed to elderly woman with a walker speed. Is fast internet too much to ask for? Is a continuous connection too much to ask for? Jeeze Creeze!


I'm going to go chill with Elle and watch Monsters, Inc. It's her new favorite movie and it is sooo nice to have a break from SpongeBob.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Happy Famaversary to Us!


Dear Elle,
Two years ago, we became a family. You changed our lives with your sweet unconditional love. We had no idea on Tuesday morning that we'd be your parents on Wednesday morning - the very next day! We are overwhelmed with joy to be your mama and daddy. You make it so easy for us, your smiles, hugs, kisses.



You have grown into a smart, thriving, beautiful little girl. Two years have flown by, while all at once it feels like forever and I can remember it like yesterday. Elle, you have a joy for life that is unlike anyone else. You see the good and sunshine in everything. I don't know what we did to deserve you, but we are never letting you go. Thank you for loving us too.



Happy Famaversary to us!

Friday, January 27, 2006

Milestones

Today is a MAJOR day in the Forrester house. Can you guess what it is? Here are three clues:


1. It isn't any of our birthdays
2. It is not our wedding anniversary
3. Our lives were NEVER the same after this day


Commence the guessing. I will write more when Elle and I return from her first gymnastics class this afternoon. I can't wait to see what you'll guess.


The winner gets???

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Big Bounce

I didn't realize until a few minutes ago, I haven't blogged for a couple of days. I can imagine that you've been waiting with baited breath to see what has been going on...


Oh, but something cool to share - On Friday, Elle and I went to The Bounce Factory with her schoolmate Autumn and Autumn's mom Katie. I'm not sure who had more fun, Elle or me? The Bounce Factory is a big warehouse that is filled with the gigantic inflatables that you can rent for parties, like the gigantic slides and obsticle course and bounce castle. It's only 5 bucks a kid and parents bounce free. Did you read that? PARENTS BOUNCE free. Who cares about the free part - parents get to BOUNCE! The cool thing is - during toddler time (which is when we went) there weren't many people so I was totally bouncing! It was so much fun - I can't wait to go back. I hurt my knee from bouncing so much - but hey by the time it feels better it will be time to go bounce again :)

Eh, American Idol is on. I need to go. Elle is a big fan, you know.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Sick and Tired of Sick and Tired

I am borderline disgruntled this morning. I'm going on a week of having a sinus headache at some point during every day, and this morning it is killing me to swallow and my ears are hurting too. I imagine that the fact that it was SNOWING Tuesday and it is supposed to be 60 degrees today factors into the sinus issue. I like to experience the seasons over the course of a year - not a week.


Fortunatly Elle is in a cooperative mood this morning. She is watching Sesame Street and eating her traditional breakfast of pizza snacks and 2% lactose free milk combined with Vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast. Today is Oscar the Grouch's birthday, ironic, eh?


Just kidding about the pizza snacks. Admit it, you were suprised for a second there, weren't you?


So anyway, yeah a headache. A BIG craptastic headache and I can't think of any legal way to remedy the solution while keeping my parenting skills in tact. It's 8:22 AM and I already want to go back to bed - until tomorrow.


Did I mention that the dog has been barking constantly this morning and I think the Jack Russel terrier across the street has knocked her up? (open sarcasm)Today is going to be grrrrrrrrrrrreat!(close sarcasm) Yeah.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Wouldn' it be loverly?

I tried something new today. I wish I could tell you it was a spicy Moroccan dish, or page 36 of the Kama Sutra (but who are we kidding here, it's a Monday for chrissakes and I have a 2 year old). No, it was neither of those.


I spoke to Eleanor with an English accent. Just for fun. Just because it was Monday, she had the day off from school and well, there was nothing else to do. This played as well as Brokeback Mountain in Salt Lake.


At first she just stopped and stared at me, conveying mild interest. I went on for a few more minutes, just to see if she really noticed. At one point she cocked her head to the side to see if I possibly looked different, and maybe that is why my voice was different. Her interest wained as I continued untill she finally put her hand over my mouth and said "uh, uh, stop."


"Wots the mattar?" I replied in my best Mary Poppins meets Eliza Doolittle.


She blinked very hard, then smacked both of my cheeks at once and said "My. Momma. Back!"


All I need is a wand and chiffon dress and I am totally going to rock out at tooth fairy time!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I will give you $100 bucks if you'd just take a nap!

Will somebody tell me why my child won't take a nap?


Jeezie Creezie


We're going on two hours of yelling "Maaaaaaaaa ma. Hey! Mom mom mom. Hey!"


She has a clean diaper, soft music and her tummy is full. She needs to take a nap.


I NEED her to take a nap. 30 minutes - that is all I am asking for. ONE. HALF. HOUR.


PLEASE!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I still haven't figured out how to fix my comments. If I know you and you want to help me out - let me know. I really don't want to have to 86 this layout- I like it. Maybe you know how to fix it?


On to other news . . .


Elle doesn't have to have another surgery. The surgeon told us that to redo the surgery, it would have to be very invasive and may not help. The other option was to wait a year to see if she out-grows the tearing issue. We opted for the wait and see choice. I couldn't see putting her through another surgery (which would have a much longer recovery time) when it had a chance of not working. I'm glad we won't have that looming over us in the new year.


I need to run - I've got a meeting in 20 minutes and it my hair could use some attention and I need to locate some lipgloss.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Test

FREAKING CODE! I'm so annoyed with my own lack of uderstanding that MY NECK HURTS. AND - I can't find where in the feck is the right place to change the font color. I am also OUT OF COFFEE.

I need to scream and get caffinated. Pronto!


Update: Ok, what in the hell is going on? Why does this specific entry have a place that says comments and the last one didn't? I don't think I did anything differently. . . I still need coffee.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Craptastic

Why can't I see the contents of my comments? I can read them via e-mail (obviously) but I can't read them on the site. ARGH! I hate not understanding code.

Back in the game

Happy New Year!


My blogging hiatus is officially OVER. This is the longest "quiet" period of time I have had since I started blogging almost 5 years ago. I've decided that I am going to leave UpSyndrome parked here at Blogger. It isn't exactly what I like, but I am going to learn how to deal with it. My biggest annoyance is uploading photos, so I am going to get flicker all sorted out and just use that for now on.


I have missed this, more that I can tell you. I can't tell you how many times a day I say to myself "I should be blogging this." However, life and general laziness got in the way and I would forget about it.


A lot has happened since November 14th - so I should have plenty to say for awhile. It feels good to be back in the game :)